Showing posts with label D&D. Show all posts
Showing posts with label D&D. Show all posts

Saturday, 29 July 2023

(Tales From the D&D Table) The Missing Mage Part Seven

I'm just gonna straight up post my session notes from now on; I just don't have the mojo to do a proper write up any more. Yay autism/probably ADHD too! 

  • Everyone asleep except Pen who is on last watch
  • Weird dreams about the pool and Delta finishing the thing and talking to someone
  • Shift to forest, see selves asleep, feel doomy and see shadows that engulf us, wake up.
  • "Well that was a thing."
  • Other party asleep, one elf missing, female elf awake and is like 'shh.'
  •  Sunriseish.
  • Getting colder and darker, hear scary noise.
  • Euraxia gets the feeling we're too late to stop The Thing.
  • Blinding Darkness, only thing visible is fire.
  • Penny uses Divine Sense, gets nothing, does sense undead.
  • Hal sees approaching light, other's don't.
  • Approach light.
  • Light is other party, they're ready for shit. Boy elf still gone.
  • "You good?"
  • 'This your fault? We aint seen shit like this til you appear.'
  • "Oh yeah like you're all on top of things."
  • Half-orc draws big black cock sword.
  • "Not even our warlock can do this what you on."
  • 'You gonna help us then.'
  • "Where'd the other elf go."
  • 'Foraging.'
  • Group up with defenses out, head toward ROAR
  • Torchlight getting more useless, nearly collide with trees a few times.
  • Penny: "Next tree we hit we burn."
  • Bump into tree, take branches to make torch bigger, kinda works.
  • Hal casts Summon Familiar, little bat (called Kevin) appears.
  • Via bat, Hal sees big humanoid approaching, shedding smaller humanoid shapes.
  • 'We gonna hafta fight.' Make fire bigger.
  • Shadow flits in and out of light.
  • "What was that?" 'IDK'
  • Fight time!
  • Everyone else sees big foot on edge of light.
  • "HOLY FUCK THAT THING'S BIG."
  • Other warlock gets out whip, asks what it is, whip says 'think thing.' Attacks with whip; no apparent effect.
  • Euraxia shoots, misses.
  • Nick attacks, miss.
  • Penny uses 'sacred weapon' ability, glow makes it easier to see big shifty shape that is bigger than the trees
  • Halbarad Eldritch Blasts, misses
  • Other Half-Orc swaps out for a big bow, shoots, hits.
  • Big Thing roars, everyone is big ow and stunned.
  • 3 of the lil shadows attack other Half-Orc, latch on and drain strength.
  • Last shadow attacks Nick, latches on and drains strength. More ow for Nick.
  • No one can do anything, Big Thing continues forward.
  • Gug attacks shadows on other Half-Orc, kills one.
  • She-Elf's turn, attacks two shadows, kills one, big ow on other.
  • Last two shadows miss despite being literally attached to targets.
  • Other warlock withdraws whip into rod and uses it to open Gateway and fills area with horrors and gross noises.
  • Euraxia attacks shadow on Nick's face, nearly kills it.
  • Nick attacks shadow, kills it.
  • Penny Lay Hands on Nick, heals a bit.
  • Hal Eldritch Blasts, hits.
  • Other Half-Orc is mad, misses last shadow.
  • Big Thing fails to do pretty much anything, is slightly hurt by light.
  • Gug attacks remaining shadow, kills it.
  • Other warlock still channeling Gateway
  • Euraxia shoots Big Thing, hits.
  • Nick attacks Big Thing, hits.
  • Penny attacks Big Thing, hits.
  • Big Thing now has very sore foot.
  • Hal Eldritch Blasts Big Thing, kills it.
  • Big Thing topples and disperses, as does Darkness.
  • Other warlock stops channeling, uses energy to douse burning tree.
  • Big Thing dropped loot including lump of flesh for some reason.
  • Also find random clothes and food and adventuring stuff and Bag of Holding, which goes to Halbarad.
  • Bag has potions of healing, a scroll of Scry, a Lantern of Revealing and some gold.
  • Share out the gold, leave the potions in the Bag, Penny claims the Lantern.
  • Everyone glad we avoided TPK.

Friday, 28 July 2023

(Tales From the D&D Table) The Missing Mage Part Six

Yeah I know shut up.
  • Put animals back except for spongedog because he too big for lil box so leave box open but close big door
  • Go to cell with Darkness
  • Tie each other together and go in
  • Darkness is like 'help' and when we're like "hello" hear a lot of voices
  • Darkness is consciousness of townsfolk?
  • "Can we help?" 'let us show you'
  • Can't see much but can see more than stairway Darkness
  • Movement? getting nearer
  • Arm offers hand
  • Paladin takes hand
  • Pulled into Darkness, whooooo rollercoaster
  • Emerge into outside where everything is burning colour, arm continues on over horizon
  • Follow arm
  • 'So tired' arm bursts into silvery goo
  • Follow silver goo trail
  • Same as rock goo that covered Cletus and son but doesn't set
  • Feels almost like a dream
  • Halbarad's spell wears off
  • Trail goes forever, sun doesn't move
  • Short rest
  • Nothing changes - weather, sun, etc
  • Continue following goo trail
  • Something appears in distance at end of trail
  • Fairly large goo pool
  • 'Enter the pool'
  • Nick goes into pool "Two tugs is good three is get me out"
  • Sees memories etc, Nick is ow
  • Everyone goes into goo
  • Paladin cannonballs, non-newtonian fluid
  • Paladin and warlock are fine, rogue is big ow
  • 'Sorry bout brain scan' "How help?"
  • 'We are magic, but is tiring, esper stuff. Met Omega and was like 'ew scary' and threw him out but he came back and stole some of us.'
  • "Can use you to turn people to stone?" 'if we leave this plane we panic and try to reach out to minds and enter stasis until we can come home'
  • "We'll stop him. How do we find him?"
  • 'Omega came thru portal he made, Darkness is portal. Is Wrong'
  • Show it memories of Darkness trip 'well that's fucked up'
  • Big stadium cave is separate demiplane
  • 'Delta is borrowing magic, probably from Omega'
  • "We either lure D out of demiplane or remove ring somehow"
  • "Could trick him out by injuring important subordinate"
  • Friend of Gug had portal whip, doesn't know much about it
  • 'One day there were there then the next they weren't'
  • "Maybe ooze could portal us there"
  • 'Once. No more'
  • "Take us to whip?" 'Can go to Gug's friends'
  • "What do we call you?" 'IDK' "Oobleck"
  • Portal to Gug's friends, another dark rip in reality
  • Go thru portal
  • As we leave portal we thump onto ground
  • In foresty place at night, light a torch
  • Nothing really to see but arguing in distance
  • Go towards arguing
  • Gug recognises voices, runs ahead, follow
  • Voices are two of Gug's friends, the Half-Orc and the Tiefling
  • Tiefling is ow
  • "What happened?"
  • 'Who tf are you?'
  • "We need your help, especially with the whip"
  • Paladin Lay on Hands on Tiefling
  • 'Who tf are you?'
  • Intro ourselves
  • 'Elf friends are looking for food'
  • "How'd you end up here"
  • 'We got lost.'
  • "Gug woke up and you were gone, what happened?"
  • 'IDK it's been a while'
  • "I think they deliberately left Gug behind."
  • "We could try to reason with them, talk Warlock to Warlock while the rest of us distract the Half-Orc"
  • Distract Half-Orc and ease them away from the Warlocks
  • 'We were supposed to deliver some research stuff to a guy and got lost, Half-Orc deliberately left Gug behind, whip was a gift from my patron (whose whole thing is whips and shit)'
  • Half-Orc is not nice - evil spectrum?
  • "Where'd the rest of your friends go for food tho?" 'IDK been a while, they always come back'
  • Return to Hal etc
  • Half-Orc is being all friendy with Gug
  • is sus
  • Short rest
  • Everyone back at 100%
  • Being watched by an elf in a tree, only warlock notices
  • 'Why yall here'
  • "Were helping Gug find her friends"
  • 'thanks'
  • "Why did she wake up alone"
  • 'IDK she slept late and we got lost'
  • "How did Tief break ankle?"
  • 'Fell outta tree'
  • "Why was she in a tree? Why is there an elf in the tree?"
  • 'Oh. huh. He's shy?'
  • "So where's the other one?"
  • Elf comes down, brings another with bag of stuff
  • "Why was the Tief in a tree?"
  • 'Wanted to see surrounds'
  • "Why you avoid us?"
  • 'Strangers'
  • "Can help you find way out"
  • 'Gug can help us find the way out' so why leave her behind
  • "So how come you are all together?"
  • 'Half-Orc hired elves and met Tief and Gug later on'
  • Long rest with watch shifts
  • Nothing happens during
  • EVERYONE LEVEL UP WOOO

Saturday, 15 July 2023

(Tales From the D&D Table) The Missing Mage Part Five

 (Again, been a little while so just the notes)
  •  Go down to Containment
  • Open door 8 - sponge
  • Full of sea sponge
  • Open door 7 - fortune teller
  • Scary weird lady inside
  • Talk to them
  • Rest of group enters room
  • See tarot
  •  Fighter pulls "Axe 3"
  • "ooo violence"
  • Fighter is like lol no (everyone else is like are you fcking stupid)
  • Suddenly trio of axes swing at Fighter
  • Minor owie
  • Paladin sits, pulls card
  • "Brain 9"
  • Paladin carefully leaves room with chair still attached to butt, once out puts chair back in, room fills with water as door shuts
  • "Hey no fair" from inside
  • Door 6 - fox
  • Inside is big fox, is all grrr
  • Not like normal fox
  • Close door
  • Door 4
  • Inside is 3 big metal box with barred window
  • Animal noise from inside
  • Peer inside leftmost
  • Big green spherical frog
  • Middle one is tiny flying octopus
  • Rightmost is shark with legs
  • Leave them for now
  • Door 3 - darkness
  • Darkness who fucking knew, same as at end of hall
  • Door 2 - compass turtles
  • Tortoise from inside immediately leaves cell, heads for stairs
  • Paladin picks it up, is holding and petting tortoise
  • Door 1 - duck?
  • Inside is very big asthmatic duck
  • Door 5 - do not open etc
  • Inside is chained door
  • Rogue picks locks inside is smaller safe
  • Picks lock on chains around smaller safe, inside is tiny box that is taped shut
  • Break tape
  • From inside comes big sponge, turns into very happy pomeranian
  • Return to door 7
  • Lots of water comes out, FT unconscious
  • Put various animal aquisitions back except for tortoise
  • Follow tortoise to the stairs, carry it up
  • Jeremy is trying to move stoned Cletus and kid
  • Tortoise wants more up
  • Follow it up to Hall
  • Tortoise wants to leave
  • Pick up tortoise, head back inside to go talk to Jeremy again
  • "What's with the critters? We'll help with the thing."
  • 'Dunno what's with the spongedog, Miguel made tortoise to try to go to Sophie.'
  • 'OG Miguel was tryna make magic pets/gifts. Failed weirdly.'
  • "Will you look after them for us."
  • 'Um sure; Fortune Teller was New Miguel bs'
  • Ask about darkness, want to maybe help it so is easier to get thru

(Tales from the D&D Table) The Missing Mage Part Four

(I'm just posting these notes as is because I can't be arsed after a few weeks to type it out lol)

  • Since all rooms are empty Steve and Cletus runs downstairs
  • Follow
  • Gug goes back to cell
  • Hear weird hum
  • Processing guardpost now empty
  • Cell 1 open, bright flashing light and noise from inside
  • Paladin casts Divine Sense, same as before
  • All doors on one side lead to one big room
  • Big magic circle, hum is loud, in middle is humanoid thing, Cletus is trying to grab thing but is getting covered in stone?, Steve is tryna pull him out
  • Penny tries to pull too, no avail
  • Once Cletus fully enveloped light stops
  • Oh noes
  • Middle of circle is one of their kids
  • Euraxia gives him hug
  • See heap of stone lumps, all except fighter sees that one lump is not stone, is twitchy with Jeremy hiding behind
  • Promise not to stab if he comes out peacefully
  • Steve goes to twitchy boy "Luke!"
  • Turns out Miguel is Big Cheese
  • Cell Miguel is original, rest of Miguels are evil brain splits
  • Robed Person is also Miguel
  • "How to undo petrify?" 'Omega'
  • "Who and where" 'IDK'
  • What is going on 'no fucking clue bruh'
  • Can brain split be undid 'yeah Omega has been trying to fix'
  • Why use the townsfolk 'IDK'
  • No celestial presence anymore
  • Where was brain split "other side bruh"
  • Gug has reappeared
  • Open door to other side, inside is weird shit
  • Find a thing like a goldfish bowl with runes and weird rock, possibly adamantium ore/space rock
  • Bowl is glowing, is scanning the rock, put the adamantium in the bowl and the wall changes to match, take rock out illusion changes to water, hand in bowl turns to half-orc flesh
  • Paper with 'Nerd' written on it turns wall into weirdness like paper
  • Is bowl big enough for head - yes
  • Nothing particulary clue-y
  • Warlock and Gug go back to guardpost
  • Penny dunks rogue into bowl like digestive in tea
  • Penny and rogue join others
  • Guard finds us, is like WHAT THE FUCK
  • WHY WAS THE WALL YOUR FACE
  • Fight time
  • Hits Euraxia, is now at ~half health
  • Euraxia hits
  • Nick hits
  • Warlock EB, hit
  • Guard is now BIG OW
  • Gug hits
  • Guard legs it
  • Penny lunges for him, grabs foot, tosses him at Jeremy at urging from Euraxia
  • While guard is seizing, take guard up to holding
  • Gug is like what, try to explain, fail
  • Loot guard of p much everything
  • Go back down to guardpost
  • Search for useful stuff
  • 'Even # - cocoon Odd # - cloning bay'
  • Nothing to get past Darkness easy
  • 'In case of accident contact Omega'
  • 'Delta - need more cocoons'
  • Rest finally clue into what the lumps are
  • Rest, heal
  • Share backstories - Penny's whole clan wiped out when spaceship crash landed on town; Halbarad is just Like That I Guess; Nick is ashamed of elven half because racist arseholes; Euraxia literally can't talk about her past as a spy because state secrets.

Wednesday, 14 June 2023

(Tales from the D&D Table) The Missing Mage Part Three

As the party examine the huge stadium-like cavern we find ourselves in, we realise that despite how well lit the area is there are no apparent light sources. Across the floor, at the bottom of a huge creepy dais, is a fractalline pattern of lumps of various sizes. In the centre of this is a humanoid figure in dark robes, beckoning us down.

The group is, of course, wary of such a stranger, but before any action can really be taken, the figure makes a different gesture and five chairs form out of the stone behind them, scoop them up and slide down towards the figure who turns out to be apparently a man in a black robe with thread-of-gold fractalline embroidery and a featureless mask, decorated on the forehead with a symbol that is like a wiggly loop within a triangle.

Peculiarly, the fellow seems happy, if surprised, to see us. Penny tells him that Jeremy had sent us down, and he mentions that we're early and that everyone is currently out searching for a mislaid 'special thing' but should be along soon. Apparently the party has been mistaken for a group of initiates that the Robed Person has been expecting.

The Robed Person asks us about a fifth person, and Euraxia quickly lies and says that he had died in the Darkness. The Robed Person says that there was meant to be someone to escort us through the Darkness but they must have been called away to join the search. Penny asks about how it's strange that he mentions people but the town above is barren, to the quiet face-palming of the more savvy party members. After an awkward glance at the lumps, he mentions there were more but we should just wait as the rest will be returning soon.

The Robed Person gestures again and a plate full of raw vegetables appears and he suggests we snack as we wait. The whole situation has the entire group skeeved out so Penny feigns a bad reaction to a carrot and requests a quick way out.

Somehow the strange being, despite confusion, believes her, and after some awkward questions he provides the fighter a magic light and vague instructions on how to get back - just picture your target location in your mind as you travel through the Darkness.

Attempting to go straight back to the inn but instead finding ourselves in a building nearby, the party travel the short distance remaining to the inn, encountering no-one on the way. When they enter, however, it is swiftly discovered that both the unusually tall gnome and Miguel have both disappeared. The gang is essentially back at square one.

Searching the room Miguel had been left in, Halbarad finds the man's Sending Stone hidden under the bed. He takes the opportunity to update Sophie, the girl who had hired the group, on how we knew where her uncle was and we were working on rescuing him.

(At this point our DM took his phone out of his pocket, bemoaning its sudden warmth. "It's all that Hentai." I jokingly suggest just as our current host's father walks into the room.)

A short argument arises about how to plan our way back into the Town Hall complex again, Euraxia certain that their previous ruse would not work again despite not being caught the first time. There was also the fact that she no longer had the big-gnome's armour. Penny decides affirmative action is required and uses a blanket to disguise herself as a cultist, to which the rest of the party follow suit; the only one not to do so is Halbarad who instead casts Disguise Self to imitate one of the guards.

The party climb the mesa stairs once more in the pre-dawn light and let themselves back in, descending the spiral stairs once more; this time stopping at 'Holding', the floor they had been trapped on. Next to each door is a lever, and preparing for danger from within, Halbarad pulls the first - to reveal the cell the gang had escaped from, the only contents of which were the rags scattered across the floor.

The next lever reveals the cell was being used as a storeroom, with various household miscellanea and a load of healing kits which the group share out between them so they each had one. Only Euraxia had two, having taken the one the guard had had on him in his pockets earlier.

The third door is opened and from inside springs the bandit leader from the bridge, a scuffle that now seems so long ago. He is restrained and questioned, revealing that his family (who, as it turns out, were the rest of the bandits) had been taken as well, the last time he saw them was before he was trapped, and that he didn't remember how he came to be there.

Taking a pragmatic approach, Nick asks if he wants to help us find out what's going on here and maybe even find his family. He agrees, and Halbarad gives him one of his daggers.

The Warlock opens the fourth door, and from inside cascades the other Bridge Bandit, much to the relief of the guy we'd just saved. After a brief, and admittedly touching, reunion between Steve and Cletus, and finding doors five, six and eight opening to empty rooms, we head to the seventh door.

Its opening is met with a huge axe swinging out, followed by a very upset Orc woman. She takes another swing at the group, and it's only a swift declaration of "Don't kill us we're here to help" that stops her taking off our heads.

The Orc woman lowers her axe, and after introducing herself as Gug, also agrees to help us stop the apparent cult, as revenge for her incarceration.

And thus the band of four became seven, if only for a short time.

Tuesday, 6 June 2023

(Tales from the D&D Table) The Missing Mage Part Two

Picking up where we left off, with the minor change of the Warlock changing from Azkabam to Halbarad (a far more tolerable character), the party is stuck in a cell with Miguel, the man they had been searching for.

Euraxia, having peered through the hole made by the Paladin Penny and being surprised by an eye peering back at her, attempts to poke it. This does not fare well for her: her hand is now stuck in whatever owns the eye and she finds herself being pulled through the fragile not-stone wall and up, through the town hall above and far into the sky.

Everyone else merely sees her start seizing, her arm stuck through the wall with a fleshy ooze-like stuff clinging to her. Penny tries to pull the rogue back away from the wall but fails. Halbarad works out that the fleshy ooze-like stuff is like that because the creature on the other side of the wall is a fleshy, ooze-like thing.

While Penny and the fighter Nicholas struggle to prevent Euraxia from being sucked through the wall, Penny whacks the wall again in a separate place, making another hole through which seeps more fleshy ooze-like. Nicholas uses the torch he holds to try to burn the ooze, which thins out a little but not enough to relinquish its grip on the half-elf. The warlock attempts an Eldritch Blast, hitting the wall instead making yet another hole, which the paladin attempts to pull down, connecting the holes into one big one.

At this point Euraxia stops hallucinating and stabs at the ooze with her dagger, causing it to finally let go and she falls back, feeling very out-of-sorts indeed. Penny stabs the ooze, which begins to retreat; faster after Euraxia immerses her dagger in its being again.

Halbarad looks through the hole after the retreating fleshy ooze-like thing, and sees it retreating down a spiral staircase at the end of the hallway, which is lined with more not-stone cells. Signs on the stairway indicate 'Facade' up the stairs and, ominously, 'Processing' down.

Apparent danger now absent, Penny manages to awkwardly heft Miguel onto her shoulder and, enlarging the hole for ease of passage, we leave the cell and head to the stairs.

Deciding that exploring wherever we are with Miguel is probably a bad idea, we decide to head up. The fighter heads up first, treading heavily with his bare feet, and the warlock follows making an even louder ruckus. At the top, they find themselves under a light desk, which they move out of the way of the rest of the party.

As the rogue, bringing up the rear and still suffering the after-effects of her hallucinations, leaves the spiral staircase, they hear footsteps from below headed upwards, so the group upturn the desk and cover the exit of the stairs, hoping to at least mildly inconvenience whoever is following. They head out of the room into a hallway that spans the entire length of the building with the front entrance at one end and a back door at the other.

Thinking fast (despite her low intelligence) Euraxia pulls out her soap from her bag and, after wetting it, sends it skidding down the hallway towards the back door, reasoning that if there was a trap like the one at the front the soap would fall in and prove its existence. Thankfully there wasn't, but the door itself was locked - and just as sturdy as the front.

Hearing the desk being pushed aside from the room they'd just left, the party ducks into a side room (Euraxia retrieving her soap) and breaks a window to escape through; the fighter insisting on being carried beyond the broken glass while Halbarad manages to injure himself on a shard still stuck in the frame. This turns out to be a rather dangerous endeavour in itself as the space between the building and the edge of the mesa is just wide enough for travel in single file with Halbarad in front, followed by Euraxia then Penny (still carrying a now-somehow-asleep Miguel) and Nicholas bringing up rearguard.

Reaching the corner of the Town Hall, Halbarad peeks around to discover the entrance now guarded by two men in patchy plate armour. Euraxia slides past and walks up to the guards to distract them while the rest of the party head towards the stairs down into the town.

"Hey; there's a commotion going on downstairs - something about escaping prisoners? They need your help."

'Um.. that's why we were posted out here though.'

"Yeah, but they were seen going downstairs into processing and they need the extra hands."

'Damn it Jeremy.' One of the guards ducks back inside while the other lingers.

"You know how it is; always hand off the difficult jobs to the other guys. It sounded like they thought they'd be a bit of trouble though. Tell you what, I'll keep an eye on things here while you go help too."

'You sure? I guess that works...' and off goes the other.

Once the door has closed behind him, Euraxia beckons the party to go quickly and quietly down the stairs, following at the rear. Once out of sight of the Town Hall, the group all run back to the inn and slump down at a table. Miguel is placed down next to them.

Intending to rest up, recuperate and plan ahead, Nicholas enters one of the inn rooms to discover their stolen belongings stashed inside. Equipment reclaimed and Euraxia's musings that perhaps the bandits and the Town Hall Happenings are connected going apparently ignored, Nicholas takes first watch as the rest of the group sleep. His and Euraxia's shifts go by undisturbed, but during Penny's watch, something rustles outside.

She is outside investigating just long enough for one of the poorly equipped guards from before to somehow slip inside. Penny, immediately upon her return inside, takes them by surprise herself and grapples him, pinning his arms to his side. She wakes the rest of the crew except for the unfortunate Miguel (who has by this time been escorted into a comfortable room and tucked in) and we attempt to interrogate the unusually tall gnome.

At first all we get are ramblings about the 'one true god Kalina' until Penny threatens to turn his insides into outsides at which point all the party are able to uncover is that the townsfolk are all being used for some nefarious probably-a-ritual and are all in processing and the fleshy ooze-like thing is the Jeremy guy that the guard had mentioned before; someone a bit higher up the 'food chain' than the guards.

Having had enough, Halbarad asks the paladin to remove the guy's metal mask so he can knock the dude out with a thump to the face. Sizing up the fellow's armour, Euraxia reasons she can use it as a disguise so they can sneak back into the Town Hall as prisoners being led by a guard.

Hiding their larger weaponry and loosely binding themselves, with Euraxia wearing the awkward plate and mask and confidently leading the way, the group head back up the stairs as the sun slowly rises.

Using a key still in the armour pockets they re-enter the building and luckily the trap had been disabled for easy use by those meant to be there. People who were, apparently, currently absent.

Heading back down the spiral stairs, they pass the floor they had been briefly detained on and noticed that the door they'd made for themselves was apparently no longer there; it was as intact as the rest of them.

Down in Processing they found the floor to be pretty much identical to the one above, except for the labels on the doors and the guardpost at one end of the hallway - with a very oozy occupant who seemed to be currently distracted with, no doubt, workplace incident forms to be filled in triplicate and filed with the appropriate officers in HR.

The townsfolk apparently forgotten in the worry of being spotted by Jeremy, Euraxia and the party continue down the stairs to the bottom of the spiral to a floor that is yet again identical to the one above, but thankfully lacking in slimy horrors. The only difference with this floor is the wide stairway heading downwards into pitch darkness.

The group of almost-heroes pile into the empty guardpost and doff their 'bonds'. As Euraxia gladly sheds the borrowed armour, Halbarad uses Comprehend Languages to investigate the gnomish paperwork left on the desk in the middle of the room.

The language having been corrupted somehow does not help; even with the spell he can only make out some few words and a couple of passages mentioning apparently important people and locations. No understanding comes of this, so we investigate a set of eight levers that line one wall of the room, one of them pulled. Euraxia pushes it to match the others, reasoning that if the others currently were locked then that would lock whatever it was connected to and thus obstruct whatever would be on the other side of that lock.

Halbarad, however, follows no such logic and tugs on a different lever, which causes the sound of heavy breathing to appear from somewhere down the corridor.

Since his spell is still active, and ever the curious one, Halbarad requests of Penny to carry him from door to door to read what each of the labels on them say.

Door One: 'Duck?'

Door Two: 'Compass Turtles.'

Door Three: 'Darkness.'

Door Four: This one has no label on it, much to the warlock's (and the paladin's) disappointment.

Door Five. 'DO NOT OPEN! If you open this door you are being controlled. If you open this door you are to close it immediately and report to your superiors.'

Door Six: 'Fox.'

As we work our way down the corridor we come closer to the stairs and from the darkness comes a sussuration much like whispering. Nearly dauntless, we continue reading the labels.

Door Seven: 'Fortune Teller.'

Door Eight: 'Sponge.'

We are right next to the darkness and it feels a lot darker than normal darkness. The torches don't seem to be able to cast their usual light down this end. Penny casts Divine Sense again, and feels the presence of corrupted celestial and fiendish energies from around them in the cells - or was it from the cells themselves?

The party start down the ominous stairs, but immediately turn around to go back to the hallway as it was so dark as to be immediately disorientating. Not even the 'halfers' with their darkvision could see. What was even more disconcerting was that it took a good couple of minutes to return to the hallway when they had only taken a couple of steps in...

 Using the various lengths of rope the party owned, they used them to tether each other together lest one get lost in the Dark. Reluctantly the group re-enter the Dark, carefully descending. The further the group goes the thicker the air seems and the louder the whispering which never quite forms into actual words. Something is very wrong with this Darkness, but having gone so far the only way out is further on. Halbarad is the only one not forced to his knees by a painful sensation of something scratching at them from inside their bodies, but everyone manages to regain their footing and continue onwards through the wall of blackness ahead of them.

Suddenly the pressure dramatically changes and it is like trying to walk through half-set concrete. Penny, Nicholas and Euraxia manage to force their way through into a huge cavern, dragging the unfortunate warlock out behind them who suffers from such a violent action.

The group takes a moment to recover and untie themselves, and gaze around them with awe.

The cavern they are in is absolutely enormous, the Darkness seeming to be a patch some twenty feet away from the nearest wall. The floor slopes towards a dais in the centre in such a way that, were the cavern filled with a crowd, everyone could see whatever was happening in the middle. Obviously whatever this space was for was not going to be something good!

Saturday, 13 May 2023

(Tales from the D&D Table) The Missing Mage Part One

We start, of course, in the tavern of an inn, drinking and just hanging out. A Half-Orc Paladin named Penny, a Half-Elf Fighter named Nicholas, a Human Warlock apparently named Azkabam and myself, a Half-Elf Rogue called Euraxia. It's a little past sunset and we're expecting another regular night when in walks a distraught Sophie, whose uncle Manuel, the Mug Mage and locally renowned politician, has gone missing and hasn't contacted her via their speaking stones for a few days.

She takes us to her large home, where there is a large portrait of the missing man hanging in the entrance hall. After a few useful questions, awkward (and belated) introductions and some less-useful comments from the Warlock and Paladin, we accept her request to find her uncle and return to the inn, setting out in the morning.

The day starts and we head north towards the town Sophie said her uncle lived in. A short argument at a crossroad later, we take the road we think is the most north-headed and enter a forest. At a bridge we are accosted by a rough pair claiming to be taxmen gathering tolls for the 'new' bridge. Not believing them, the Halfer trio call the leader out on his obvious lie, not helped by his claim of the local Lord's name being 'F**k You'.

Calling on the rest of his small group of bandits, the leader attacks Nicholas, hitting twice and taking a little under half his health in one turn. The Warlock retaliates with an Eldritch Blast, dealing a good bit of damage himself. The first of the rest of the bandits is next, attempting retribution on the Warlock but missing. Nicholas disengages, hiding behind the 7ft tall Penny, who is attacked by one of the other bandits, who manages to deal a huge chunk of damage to the Paladin.

Now it is my turn and Euraxia shoots at the leader, hitting for another small percent while the Paladin threatens the rest of the bandits with 'flossing with their intestines' which encourages a ranged approach which fails the first attempt.

The leader tries to attack the fighter again, not appreciating his idiotic taunts from behind the hulking Half-Orc, and despite a successful attack of opportunity manages to hit the Fighter, rendering him unconscious. Azkabam casts another Eldritch Blast at the leader, this time missing while the second-in-command tries and fails again to hit the Warlock. With Nicholas still unconscious, the bandit attacking the Paladin has another go at her, taking her out too.

Euraxia's second attack on the leader misses, as does a bandit's aim at the Warlock, but the last manages to give the magic user a new piercing.

The leader is fed up and nearly dead and persuades the remaining party members to give up a ration pack, the Rogue's short-bow and the Fighter's boots before the gang disappears into the forest.

Now combat is over, the Rogue manages to stabilise Penny and Nicholas. Penny then uses 'lay on hands' to heal herself and the Fighter a little before we all take a short rest to recuperate a little before we continue on our journey. Nicholas is upset about his boots but copes, and gives Euraxia his crossbow as she is not pleased herself with the prospect of having to melee with a dagger, preferring ranged weaponry.

We travel onward until nightfall, where we trek a little way into the forest to make camp for the night. The next day we're hale and healthy and continue along the road until late afternoon, when into view comes a town, surrounded by a palisade and a large building atop a mesa at the back. Even from a distance, however, we can tell that something is not right; there's no smoke or general hubbub coming from it, nor any sign of movement.

Investigating as we enter, we discover it to seemingly be freshly abandoned; meals sat uneaten but unrotten at dining tables and the inn seems like it simply didn't open for business that morning. Outside on a noticeboard are posted plenty of 'missing' posters, mostly tools, dogs, and children; and also a poster about a town meeting set for the night before our arrival.

Climbing up the steps to what turns out to be the town hall, we find the door locked and a light somewhere inside. Euraxia soundlessly picks the lock and pushes the door open, but as the group steps inside the floor disappears beneath them and they tumble into a lightless room.

Euraxia inquires on the health of everyone, and four voices answer her.

Startled, the Fighter manages to light a torch and discovers that we're in an apparently entryless, stone-walled cell with a high ceiling and clothing scraps on the floor - and an emaciated man in the corner.

This being the very man we had been tasked to find, we ask about what happened, but as far as he can recall there was nothing unusual happening before he himself fell into the cell on his daily trip to the town hall a few days ago. The trauma of this has aged him; he barely resembles the portrait his niece had shown us.

Looking around, a quick investigation of the walls reveals the stone is an illusion cast over a weaker material, and the Warlock finds a particularly weak spot, which the Paladin attacks with gusto, punching a fist-sized hole through whatever material it was made of.

Euraxia peers through, to find her action mirrored by another being on the other side...

Wednesday, 19 August 2020

(Tales from the D&D Table) Lost Mines of Phandelver; Session Four

 And here is where it all fell apart.

The missing player finally turned up to a session. The DM had decided to give Roll20 a try, so we had a virtual tabletop to play with, but no-one wanted to listen to his explanation of how to use it and the absent player kept trying to talk about unrelated stuff that no-one was interested in.

Everyone else was finding it difficult to work out how to use the new site, especially with the other site that our character sheets were on, and so instead of listening to the DM who was still trying to explain how to use it and being interrupted by a blast of LOTR tavern songs, they gave up and decided to chat instead about video games. At this point I quit the chat because if the game wasn't going to be played I could be doing other stuff; but apparently it was decided that the game would be postponed until lockdown is lifted. If it is ever lifted.

I am so disappointed in everyone. The DM was blaming himself for it all going wrong when it wasn't his fault; if everyone had listened to him as I had, we could have gotten it all working and have played the session, but apparently discussing Fallout glitch exploits is more important. You'd think people would have the decency to listen to the people they consider friends, but they can't even do that. They won't do any of the background stuff necessary for a playable game outside the play session so we waste an hour at the start of the session waiting for them to do it then. They weren't willing to spend a little money on a subscription which would reduce the amount of reading they'd have to do, despite the fact their respective disabilities render them all but illiterate.

I'm letting my frustration get to me and I am probably exaggerating a bit but I just wish something would work properly for once and that people would actually do the things necessary for everyone to enjoy something.

So, obviously, this is the last instalment of this particular series until we pick it up again.

If we pick it up again.

Tuesday, 11 August 2020

(Tales from the D&D Table) Lost Mines of Phandelver; Session Three

 Sildar, the Gryphon Knight we rescued, decided to head back to Phandalin, and after some debate the party followed, quickly catching up as we were on our wagon and he on foot. Along the way, our bard loses his fashionable new goblin gauntlets (his goblets), and is left with two bloody sleeves.

We decide to spend the night at the inn, paying for rooms and as thanks Sildar buys them all some bread and ale for dinner. The group proceed to thoroughly embarrass themselves and the unfortunate knight, having a truly mindless conversation that ambles through as many topics as there were words exchanged. At some point, our need for further information about the town and the local happenings is mentioned and a nearby townsman offers his services as a guide for a couple of gold. The band of warriors agree to meet him the next morning and retire to their rooms, Punky bedding down in Firenze's closet.

The next morning, leaving the bard behind (absent player), we pay the man and we are taken along the streets toward an old manor, where the townsman had mentioned the night before that he had seen a strange dark beast skulking around. Along the way, we come to realise we are being closely watched by some roughians in red cloaks, and Firenze, tiring of the scrutiny, attempts to intimidate them into leaving us be.

Instead, they quickly tire of bandying words and attack. Their attempt is swiftly returned, the first of the thugs to attack earning himself an arrow twixt the eyes from Merielle. The apparent leader of the gang, angered by the death of his friend, fires his own shot at the archer, dealing a damaging blow.

The other two redcloaks charge toward Firenze, who is joined in her defence by Nic and a very hungover Punky. The two fighters are swift and sure, while the wavering goblin misses every shot in his haze. The leader is downed with another well placed arrow, and another is swiftly slain by Nic's longsword. Firenze attempts to kill the last, but her attack misses - the fatal blow is instead dealt by a now very injured rogue.

Once the fighting is done, the party's townsman guide emerges from his hiding spot and offers first aid - for a nominal fee, of course. Having paid, he leads them to his house where he bandages their wounds with his clean socks.

Not too impressed by this, Firenze leads the way back to the inn, where the group take a short rest to recover somewhat, before making a second attempt to reach the old manor, named Tresendar Manor by the townsman who, as decided by the party, was no longer needed as a guide, as they had traversed most of the distance before being attacked.

Sildar, who had remained at the inn talking to the locals about his own missing friend, decided to accompany us, as we had the same destination.

The group arrives at Tresendar Manor, finding it thoroughly abandoned and crumbling, nature reclaiming the stonework. A narrow track leads the group out of the ruins, around a few trees and into a carefully excavated, and much newer, tunnel leading back under the building into the cellar. Exploring the musty room lined with barrels, the group finds a door at each end, one to the north at the bottom of the stairs in and one behind a water-filled cistern. The north door is chosen.

Beyond is a corridor, the floor in the centre sunken and the dust disturbed in a trail that clearly avoids the dip. Reasoning that there must be a trap in the sunken area - why else would it be avoided? - the group edges around, following the trail through some large doors into a room, occupied by three sarcophagi. Atop the carved lids of the coffins, depicting the deceased occupants, lie a trio of red cloaked skeletons.

Ignoring Merielle's distrust of the 'bony boys', Nicolas strides over to inspect one of the coffins, awakening the skeletons.

Firenze, quick to draw her trusty halberd, lashes out at the one nearest her, dealing small damage to the decaying bones. The whoosh of blades missing their target fills the room, until Merielle successfully caves in the skull of the creaking corpse.

Sildar is having a tough time with one of the other two skeletons, and the fighters rush to his aid. More wild slashing of blades and clattering of bones follows, as the living warriors learn the hard way that pointy weapons do little against fleshless beings. Punky, still suffering from the large amount of alcohol imbibed the night before, is still useless, sending goblin shafts flying into walls and bouncing off coffins.

The conflict finally ends with Firenze wearing a new, unwanted piercing, bones scattered all over the place and red cloaks causing concern to Merielle, who suspects a connection to the thugs from before. Why else would they be wearing the same cloaks?

A quick investigation of the coffins proves them to be of the owners of the mansion above. The signet rings are saved, either for use or selling later.

The group decide a short rest is in order, and hope that the bard has recovered from the shock of wearing goblins - a life studying books leads to a weak constitution, it seems - and that he will shortly be joining them in their exploration of the dungeon.

Tuesday, 4 August 2020

(Tales from the D&D table) The Lost Mines of Phandelver; Session Two

Leaving the corpses behind, and towing a now catatonic bard (absent player), we search the other half of the cave to find a set of crude cages, in which is a beaten-unconscious human man in rags. Firenze breaks the cage, freeing the fellow, and we use the remains to craft a stretcher to carry him on. We then leave the cave and go through the sleeping area and follow a tunnel from the other side across a narrow bridge across the now rapidly flowing river.

At the end of the tunnel is a half flooded cavern, a slim path leading around the edge and into another cave with a trio of goblins inside, one larger than the other two and accompanied by a dozing wolf.

A swift plan is formulated, and leaving Punky and the bard to watch each other and the temporarily-dubbed Mr. Unconscious, Merielle tosses a flask of oil at the goblins, dousing one; Nicolas swiftly follows with a lit crossbow bolt, lighting the goblin and alerting the other inhabitants to our arrival. Merielle quickly fires an arrow of her own at the other small goblin, skewering it between the eyes leaving it to fall onto their campfire and adding to the claggy smell of barbequed goblin.

Firenze charges in with her halberd and drives it into the taller goblin's shoulder. The goblin barely flinches, and his wolf attempts to attack the fighter, but misses in its scramble to its feet.

Nic fires a bolt into the goblin's other shoulder, and it tries to retaliate by picking up and swinging its club at Firenze, but also misses. Meri, considering the goblin handled by the fighters, fires a shot at the wolf, and her arrow penetrates far enough to stick, but not enough to do any real damage. 'Renze and Nic attempt to intimidate the large goblin, stabbing and shooting it again respectively, and it is hurt but not cowed.

With another extremely luckily placed shot, Meri slays the wolf, her second arrow driving through the first Robin Hood style and delving deep into the unfortunate canine's heart. The death of his wolf breaks the goblin, and it tells us that our patron had been taken to the tribes' chief, somwhere out west.

In a strange attempt at mercy, Firenze finishes off the goblin and the group turn their attention to the glimmering pile of loot behind it. This heap consists of a trio of healing potions, which are shared between Firenze, Nicolas and Mr Unconscious, a load of gold which is piled into a backpack for dividing later, and the various accoutrements of a knight, which the group assume to belong to the now-conscious man.

At the back of the cave is a sheer drop into another cavern below, so a rope is tied to a secure looking rock and Nicolas descends first to find the cave beneath is occupied by a trio of wolves, sleeping and chained to the wall.

Explanations promised for later, the man follows, and is given his gear to put on as Punky and the bard are the next to descend the rope. Firenze is the last to use it, as Merielle unties it and climbs down without its assistance.

Meri and the knight successfully sneak past the wolves, but the others wake them, dodging their startled maws as they lash out. The group flee the caves and Merielle swiftly orients them, and they head away from the now flooded caverns and toward where they left the wagon.

As we walk, we explain who we are and what had happened to the knight, who then introduced himself as Sildar Hallwinter of the Gryphon Cavalry of Waterdeep. He had been accompanying their dwarven patron as he had been headed in the same direction when they were ambushed by the goblins who had proceeded to torture him and leave him in the sorry state we found him.

Having reached the wagon, we decide to bed down there and rest for the night.

(Discord, as it turns out, is decent enough to play over - after adjusting the sensitivity of our mics, ofc. Also playing from the comfort of your own bedroom can be fun, but not as fun as in person play. Hopefully we can return to that soon enough; if only people can learn to think of more than just themselves.)

Tuesday, 28 July 2020

(Tales From the D&D Table) The Lost Mines of Phandelver; Session One

We set out from the inn in Neverwinter with the wagonload of things we were hired to deliver and follow a path through the woods towards Phandalin. A couple kilometres into the forest we encounter two dead horses full of goblin arrows across the road through a small gully, which we realised would be a perfect ambush site. While the two fighters and the rogue are arguing over who should be the one to move the corpses, the bard goes over to them and gets shot at.

Nicolas, the male fighter, ran over and dragged the bard away, while the rogue shot in the direction the arrow came from, missing. The other fighter yells for the ambushers to show themselves.

A goblin tries to sneak up behind us, but is not very successful and Merielle the rogue tries to shoot it, but misses again. Nicolas yells at it to get out of his sight, and the goblin, terrified, turns and runs. The other ambushers give up as Arthan, the bard, uses magic on the fleeing goblin while mocking it.

Firenze, the female fighter, intimidates the remaining goblins into giving up completely for the day, and we investigate the area. On the dead horses Merielle and Arthan find an insignia, which the bard recognises as being that of our employer, and in the hide that the goblins had made, Firenze finds a pair of drag marks leading along a narrow path through the forest. Anxious to deliver our cargo, however, we elect to forgo investigation to take the wagon to Phandalin as we were supposed to.

Upon arrival at the tiny old mining town, the party divides into two; Nicolas and Merielle go to attempt delivery of the wagonload while Arthan and Firenze try to entertain the villagers. Arthan and his lute are a roaring success, while Firenze’s ‘singing’ is studiously ignored.

Meanwhile, Nic and Meri are learning that their patron never arrived in Phandalin, and the storekeeper is refusing delivery because of that. They return to the small inn where the other two have retired, Arthan earning their room by playing for the customers. The news of their employer’s disappearance is shared, and investigation of the ambush site is decided upon for the next day.

The next morning, the storekeeper having finally bought the supplies for 10g total, the party takes the now empty wagon back to the ambush site, to discover a pair of sleeping goblins, bows in hand. The bard and rogue sneak up behind them and scare them awake while a pair of their compatriots attempt to shoot at us, successfully hitting the bard in the shoulder. Firenze, seeing an opportunity for heroics, charges in with her halberd and rapidly bisects one of the surrendering snoozers, terrifying the other into fleeing.

The other two, one of whom had been at the last ambush attempt, try to avenge their friend, but are scared into submission by the bard; one flees and the other, quickly named Punky by the noble fighter due to his many piercings, is coerced into leading us to his clan’s cave, where the prisoners were taken.

Upon arrival at the cave, a quick plan was formed for scouting the cave, and Merielle was given the appearance of a goblin by the bard with a cantrip. Having reached the mouth of the cave, and spotting a trio of goblins hiding behind a thick bush at the entrance, the plan was swiftly forgotten as the elf drove her daggers into the backs of two of them, and the male fighter sped in to finish the third.

Any annoyance at the plan’s dismissal by the rogue was delayed until later, as Punky led them deeper in. One tunnel was a small challenge, being a slope with very worn steps, but was swiftly scaled with the aid of a crossbow bolt fired by Nic, the rogue’s piton on one end and her rope tied to the other. A swift investigation of a small cavern being used as sleeping quarters revealed nought, and they sneaked towards the area the goblin tribe was using as a jail, where they discovered the goblin chief and four bodyguards.

Combat swiftly ensues, Punky hiding inside a crate nearby, and soon descends into bloody madness as Meri’s arrows fly past, the goblin chief yells something in a strange language and Arthan successfully skewers not one but two goblins so thoroughly as to drench his arm in blood and goblin. Firenze is shot, and in her anger and pain she lashes out at the goblin chief, driving her rapier through him head to tail. The remaining pair of goblins flee.

The fighting over, we discover that the peril is not over as the water from a stream running through the cave system is starting to rise…