On January 12th I went to LA.
I got to the airport two hours early, as the Gull Bus made better time than I expected it to - the timetable said it would get there about noon but it got there at 10am. So I ended up hanging around for ages until the other group members started arriving. Check in went fine, and we were soon wandering through security to the waiting room at our gate.
We stopped over at Aukland to switch planes, and on the flight to LA I watched 'What We Do In The Shadows' and 'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets', the former a hilarious mockumentary about vampires in Wellington and the latter a mindless sci-fi funfest based on a long-running comic series. We ended up hanging around LAX for about three hours when we got there though, as one of the group had left her carry-on outside the loos near the gate and the shuttlebus that Sue ordered was delayed and all-but-cancelled, so when we finally got the missing bag and got to the hotel via taxi, it was long past sunset. We had dinner in the hotel bar.
The first day we went to the Farmer's Market in the morning. It's definitely an interesting place, if tightly packed with food shops/stands and souvenir places. I had breakfast from a crepe place and bought a key-ring for my collection, which I keep on a bangle in a tub under my bed. We took an Uber to Venice beach - second time lucky; we got in the wrong one initially and had to go back! The beach was amazing, with all the shops and the 'sideshows'. There was a guy with a gorgeous banana python just hanging around his neck, and so many people walking their dogs. I stopped to buy a hat and to take my t-shirt and trousers off so I could walk in my swim set instead as it was quite warm. We wandered along the beach to Santa Monica Pier from where we took a metro train back to the hotel to get ready for dinner, which we had at Cole's Bar; apparently famous for 'french dip' sandwiches - a meat sandwich in a very crusty roll with a bowl of broth to dip it in. I instead opted for a tuna sandwich, of which I was only able to finish half. I went home with the under 21s while the rest went to a gay bar that a couple of the guys had found the night before!
The next day we got up super early and went to Universal Studios and it was awesome! First thing we did was go to the Harry Potter world part of the park and we went on the 'HP and the Forbidden Journey' (or something like that) ride and afterwards I got a Slytherin pin for my bag. We then went on the studio backlot tour which was amazing - I've never wanted to be an actor more than when we were rolling around through the sets. After having lunch at Krusty Burger in the Simpsons part of the park we went to see the Waterworld Show, which is a lot better than the movie it's based on!
That afternoon the majority of us went to an outlet mall, and I got a new wallet for mum from Coach. The line was really long, and most of the stores were jam-packed with people, which was a bit uncomfortable. I wasn't in line for too long however - Coach's credit system crashed from so many people using it and since I was paying cash I was ushered to the front of the queue, which was awesome. I was almost left behind, however, when the person I was 'mall-trawling' with went into Nike while I waited outside. While I was waiting I got some gelato from a nearby italian place, and she must've left while I was in there because I waited another ten minutes and when she didn't come out of Nike I went to where we were meeting up at the bus stop and she was there, having assumed that that was where I had gone!
That evening back at the hotel we had our first lesson of the intensive in Sue's suite, where we were run through the basics of technique. We were given a scene to learn and went to the hotel bar for dinner again.
Monday dawned and the week of classes at the school started. It turned out to be in a spanish-style building that used to be a sort of speak-easy for the stars. Our first class was improvisation with a lovely woman named Shawnie (I think that's how it's spelt) and we all had great fun playing improv games. The favourite was one called 'bunny bunny bunny' which was a sort of group/follow the leader circle game, which is too complicated for me to even try to explain!
There was a McDonalds across the street, and that's where I went for lunch pretty much every day - so naughty of me - because since we were going out somewhere different every night for dinner I wanted something at least a little familiar. Instead of a shake though I tried one of the smoothies they had on offer there and it was actually really nice.
That afternoon was more technique with a different person than we had at the hotel, a guy called Rick Peters, and again it was a very interesting class as we discussed various things, including some unrelated topics...
After class was done we went to Runyon Canyon, which was an experience I was actually rather looking forward to - and didn't get to have because everyone charged off ahead (after saying there's no rush) while I bought a drink at the gates. So I did the sensible thing to do when left alone in a strange place. I stayed where I was near the entrance and waited for them to come back so I would be easier to find. (An especially smart decision, I like to think, because I saw a 'missing' poster for some fellow who liked to hike the Canyon solo and it later turned out that I was pretty much the only person in the group who saw it!) I waited and waited, watching all the dogs go past and cooling down from the mini-anxiety attack and from being so upset at being left behind - one terrier even came up to see if I was ok, something which amazed his owner since he was apparently very wary of strangers. It started to get dark, and cold, but I knew they had to come back this way since the entrance we used would be the same one we'd leave by. They did eventually arrive, and were quite surprised to see me, since they had just assumed I was somewhere close behind them. All the relief I felt at seeing them made me cry again, and they were all very apologetic; I don't really blame them - they were just overexcited.
We walked to a bar called the Pig and Whistle, which is - or was, at least - quite popular with celebs, and apparently at one point had a secret entrance for stars to sneak in from the Egyptian Theatre next door. The food was, again, amazingly tasty and in large portions. We took the metro back and a pair of street performers did a hip-hop contortion routine on the train, which I couldn't watch because people aren't meant to bend that way! Instead I read over the script we'd been given on Sunday. Back at the hotel, my room-mate and I went down to the hotel's pool and spa with a couple of the guys and I greatly appreciated the hot water of the spa as my back was still a little achy from carrying my backpack/carry-on with me!
The next day we could only use half of the hotel, as they were filming an advert in the lobby and the corridor. Luckily the lifts opened in a space between the corridor and the 'old lobby' (which has apparently appeared in movies itself years ago, The Nutty Professor for one) so we didn't interrupt anything important.
In our first and only class that day we filmed the scenes we'd been given on the weekend, a chunk from How I Met Your Mother; which is apparently quite a good show but completely fucks up the final episode, from what I've learnt from Reddit! I think I did rather well, though it was rather awkward pretending to flirt with an awkward, spotty, wannabe thug 18 year old! (I knew he'd be trouble when we had to pause at security at the airport so he could sort through his three hundred vials, tubes and bottles of acne 'cures'... which obviously weren't working. He also refused to understand why he should tip.)
At lunchtime, I encountered a pair of Depplings - one dressed as Willy Wonka and another as Edward Scissorhands, and I got photos and a short video with them. There are celeb/character impersonators all up and down Hollywood Boulevard and the Walk of Fame, all of whom work for tips.
After lunch we all packed into various Ubers and Lyfts and went to the CBS studios to watch the filming of an episode of Superior Donuts which, despite a stellar cast (Judd Hirsch [Dr Alfred Hofstater in BBT] Katey Segal [Leela in Futurama] and David Koechner [Champ Kind in Anchorman] are the three I actually recognised) isn't actually that funny. What I learnt from the experience is that the audience are as much actors as the ones on set, as it can get very grating listening to the same jokes over and over again and having to laugh just as hard the fifth time as you did the first - no matter how funny the joke actually was! They did switch them up a little after a while to keep things fresh, which was appreciated. The comedian they used to keep up the 'hype' between takes was actually funnier than the content of the show, and he would give small prizes/merchandise to people he thought had laughed the best. I ended up with a card 'donut hat' (like these except all card) that was signed by the cast, which was actually what I was trying to get since I'd heard it offered by the comedian!
We were there about five hours, sitting in hard plastic chairs, laughing at the same jokes until our faces hurt and getting deafened by the cadre of Marines sat in the row behind us shouting OO-RAH every other sentence when their 'most senior' member (which wasn't more than an NCO of some rank IIRC) was pulled out for a jokey interview by the emcee. And every time they were even mentioned after. When they'd finally wrapped on the two - TWO! - scenes they were filming, it was dark out and everyone was literally butthurt from the seats. We went to a place called Fat Burger for dinner - pretty much your standard American burger place - and were close enough to the hotel to walk back.
Our first class Wednesday was our second and final improv class, and the two older guys along with my scene partner from the day before put on a spectacular beach scene involving a life guard tower with too many stairs, a drowning man and incompetence. All I need to remember that scene and start laughing again is for someone to cry 'STEVE!'. It was so funny it even had our teacher in stitches! And yet I and couple others were expected to follow that somehow... which a scene set in a maternity ward. We did our best, but I don't think anything we can do will ever match the guys' production!
After lunch, during which I treated myself to a new pair of trainers from the Footlocker down the road as my purple ones were almost worn through, we had a Q&A sesh with a guy called John Jacks (I think...) about Stella Adler it- and herself. This guy had actually learnt technique from the actress herself - I was actually quite surprised to hear she'd only passed away in 1992 at the age of 91, especially since she was an active actor in the forties. He told us her story and about what it was like learning 'straight from the source'.
After the session was finished, we went to Mel's Drive In, which isn't and never actually was a drive in but the rest of the franchise was, a fifties-themed cafe which I absolutely loved. We tried the milkshakes there, of which there are many, many flavours and they are AMAZING and delicious (I had the butterscotch). They made so much that they give you a little cup along with your shake that has the rest of the drink in it as there was too much for the cup! I felt like I was wearing the wrong outfit, as I had taken with me a couple of my fifties dresses to wear when I felt like looking a bit fancy. I got myself a pin to remember it by, which now adorns my bag alongside the Slytherin pin and a remembrance poppy. Afterward we were going to take an Uber to the Samuel French Bookshop, and the other half of the group a Lyft, but the traffic was so thick that we decided to walk. The guys who'd taken the Lyft still got there first somehow.
The bookshop specialises in books related to 'the Industry', and it was there I did most of my souvenirs-for-friends shopping. (They loved what I'd got them.) The place was brilliant and quiet, and the staff very helpful - I had a short chat while checking out with the cashier about Doctor Who, which was fun and a little unexpected! We went back to Hollywood Boulevard later and went to various places for food - those of us that weren't still full of milkshake from the Drive-In! While waiting for the group to do whatever they were doing, I sat with Sue and a couple others at the Snow White Cafe, which is literally below the Stella Adler place, and we shared a rather spicy pepperoni pizza, which I came to regret that night as I was up a long time with stomach cramps and related issues.... which you don't need to know about!
We reconvened at the Egyptian Theatre to watch a collection of short films in celebration of women directors. Some were interesting, but one just made me angry, a documentary about an old couple who'd met and married in their nineties and were torn apart by her family because they wanted to put her in a home in Florida, and the poor old man was left behind and essentially died of a broken heart when the date she was supposed to visit on came and went without her arrival. Even just writing about it makes me mad. Just let them be old and happy together! She'd finally found someone to have her happy ending with - after two previous husbands dying soon after marriage - and they took her away from that for their own selfish reasons; because they wanted to sell the house they were living in. The person that they chose as liason and gave PoA to had never even met the poor old girl face to face before she came to take her away to Florida. Just uuuuuggghhhhh.....
I somehow, despite my broken night and lack of sleep, managed to get up at 7.45 the next morning. In our first class we did the close up shots for the HIMYM scene we did, and after lunch - which I was late back from as I got distracted trying to watch the headlines on the TV screens at Maccas (oops) - we had our second technique class, and were given a new scene to learn; this time to be learnt by the next day! It wasn't too difficult though, or even that long, but again I was acting opposite a younger guy - this one the youngest of the group at 15. He reminded me a bit of me at 15 - quiet around strangers but very outgoing among the people he already knew (most of the group were from the Ascot Vale class - only my roomie and I were from the Geelong group).
That evening we went to Melrose Avenue, and everyone else had a great time wandering around shopping, but I was feeling the effects of lack of sleep so I just waited outside the bar we were going to have dinner at, a neat little place called the Village Idiot. One of the guys was impressed because they had a timetable up that showed that they'd put on the English footy matches on the weekend, but I was more impressed with the sticky toffee pudding I'd ordered! I know what you're thinking - dessert for dinner?! My answer? I'm an adult now; I'll eat dessert for breakfast if I want to and no-one can stop me! (And in case you were wondering... yes I have had dessert for breakfast. =P)
We then 'Ubered' the short distance to the theatre that was the home base of an improv group called the Groundlings, and watched their performance. And died of laughter! The first half was a series of short skits, much like the ones we'd done on Wednesday with Shawnie, and after the brief intermission was a short play, that was like if Star Trek had gone full comedy. Afterwards, I felt like saying 'CBS called, they wanna buy the rights to your characters!' but I was too shy and tired and besides, they'd already vanished backstage.
Friday was almost a sad day, as it was our last full day in America. Our morning was spent in Sue's suite learning the basics of the American accent from Tim, who we'd had technique lessons from earlier in the week. It was quite amusing watching and listening to everyone ooooing and aaaaahing - it probably sounded a little like a barnyard to outsiders!
After lunch at the hotel, we went to the school and had our final technique lesson, filming the short scenes we'd learnt the day before, and after that the current CEO (or someone, I can't really remember now; I've left this too long) came to talk about what we'd have to do if we wanted to do a term at S.A, what the syllabus is like and all that jazz. We went to a Mexican place called Loteria for dinner and I had the enchiladas with black bean sauce and oh my gods it was delicious! And filling. We then dashed off to see a performance of a British-in-origins play called 'Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons', accidentally leaving our youngest companion behind at the restaurant! He was found by another member of our group, who wasn't officially with us but was in America for her own reasons but was doing the Stella Adler intensive so she came with us to some things, and he joined back up with us before the play started.
It was a little difficult to follow, as the scenes were non-linear, but it was still a very interesting production, and very well done by both the actors. The scene transitions were very well done, very smooth and brilliantly lit to show location and emotion.
The final day was definitely an interesting one. I packed to the cacophonous roar of the Women's March outside. My roomie had packed the night before and made a sign, so she set off to join in while I finished up and instead went down to the 'old lobby' to have breakfast, check out and make use of my final hours of access to the hotel's free wi-fi. There was no way I was going to join the march myself - it definitely seems like a brilliant experience, but it is not one I'm ready for yet! I am hoping that by the time I am such things are unnecessary, but that seems extremely unlikely at this point. After lunchtime passed and the march began to disperse, and we met up in Sue's suite (she was waiting until we left to check out so we could still use the room) for our final lesson on accent. Again, another couple hours or so of ooing and other weird noises, and reciting short poems in slow deep voices - for some reason, the method of learning the accent made us all speak in deeper voices!
Afterwards, we said our farewells to our awesome teacher, took a brilliant group photo and then went off to do whatever we needed to do before we left. As I had already packed up - and yes I had made sure I had everything - and checked out, all that was left for me to do was purchase one last souvenir and wait around in the new lobby for everyone to regroup.
At 5.45pm, we left the hotel for the final time, and returned to LAX for our flights home. While on the way to Aukland, I gave up on getting anything creative done and instead watched Kong: Skull Island (not entirely for the interesting story....*cough*Hiddleston*cough*) and the first Maze Runner movie, which stars the kid from Love Actually who's actually older than me but looks perpetually 13 and the guy from the new Teen Wolf, and the guy with the weird angry eyebrows as a secondary character (I can never remember the names of these guys...).
I had a bit of fun at Aukland, as we had a very small window in which to switch planes, and mine was made shorter by my being randomly selected by a security officer (who was as New Zealandish as I am Australian) and my backpack giving a false positive! Sue waited while I was there, and after the machine was cleaned and my bag re-run the falseness was proved and we had to wait while her co-worker decided when to come down with a new stack of forms, as the one working with me had run out. Luckily, we got to the relevant departure lounge with five minutes to spare, and our flight back to Tullamarine was uneventful from then on. I spent the time watching a few episodes of a TV series hosted by an Aussie comedy duo showcasing amusing stories from random Australians.
At the airport final goodbyes were actually barely said, as we all just wandered off our separate ways after retrieving our bags, but really that's how I prefer it. Goodbye is too final; it suggests you'll never see them again, so I actually prefer just to slip off almost unnoticed so then I can pretend at least that we'll meet again at some point. I got through security fine, and had a bit of trouble meeting up with my parents who'd come to pick me up as I was too busy trying to find a quiet spot to wait for them in to see where they were waiting for me! The hardest part of getting home was staying awake until nightfall to try to avoid the worst of the jetlag, but I just about managed it with some cuddly help from Daisy!
The best part of the trip: Universal Studios and all the dogs I saw
The worst part of the trip: Being left behind at Runyon Canyon
